Ballerball has tracked down The Seattle Supersonic’s Mascot, Squatch. Squatch was The Supersonic’s mascot from 1993-2008. We interviewed him at the original Starbucks Pike Street.
Ballerball: First of all thank you for taking the time to talk- it wasn’t easy getting a hold of you.
Squatch: Its my pleasure. Sorry about that- my Boost phone is all jacked up.
B: So what have you been up to since the team moved 5 years ago?
S: I’m not going to lie- things have not been great. I hit rock-bottom almost immediately. I am a Slam Dunking Sasquatch and with the economy the way it was there just wasn’t a place for me. It was 2008. I mean my resume is really one line “Skills: I dunk basketballs”. Plus my letter of recommendation is from Shawn Kemp so that didn’t really help.
B: That must’ve been so hard.
S: It was. Real hard. Around 2010 I kind of lost it. Just went back into the woods. You know, to clear my mind. Get the noise out. It was peaceful at first but it didn’t feel right. People are always freaking out when they see me in the woods. Plus those jerks from Animal Planet are always trying to film me. I came back to the city I love so much. The city by the bay- Seattle.
B: What do you do now?
S: Well I have two jobs. I am a tour guide for a Frasier Theme tour bus called “Toss Salad and Scrambled Eggs”. Its just a blast. Its an opportunity to show people my personality and introduce them to this great city. With the money I made from giving tours I opened up the cutest little bed and breakfast on Capitol Hill called “Squatch and Honey”. Its a little oasis. Its my passion. My heaven.
B: How do you feel about the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Mascot, Rumble the Bison?
S: No comment. We might want to check his birth certificate to make sure he’s even an American. But…..no…..no comment!
B: Sounds like you are on a bit of an upswing lately.
S: Absolutely! God…She works in mysterious ways! Word is the Sacramento Kings might move here so who knows. It takes more than one bullet to kill a Squatch. I love these people. I love this town. I am just Sasquatch who likes to dunk basketballs. This is the great American Redemption Story and there’s nothing more American than a Sasquatch dunking a basketball! (Roars takes a sip of coffee) The coffee here sucks.