Torgeir Bryn, Destroyer of Worlds, Credits Voss for the Hydration

voss home

Torgeir Bryn credits Voss water for giving him the refreshment he needed to withstand 10 total minutes of NBA experience. The only Norwegian player to ever reach the NBA, Bryn was reportedly seldom winded at practice, ran the court well and smiled at every photo-op. His language coach Kjell noted that hydrogen and oxygen were the first words he learned upon reaching American soil.

“I’d have loved to have five Torgeir Bryn’s running the floor each night,” said Don Casey, head coach of the Los Angeles Clippers following the 30-52 1989-90 regular season. “He just had a grasp on the intangibles you couldn’t teach, like sportsmanship, pathos, being replenished following water breaks.”

Despite averaging just 0.7 field goal attempts per game in his three-game career, Bryn reportedly had the most beautiful 12-foot jump shot this side of Hurtigruten.

“I’m honestly flabbergasted that he didn’t take our spots,” chimed in Charles Smith and Benoit Benjamin, the team’s starting power forward and center. “That mouth was never dry.”

In his final game before being waived by the franchise, Bryn accidentally sprint into the game with an 800 ml in a makeshift camelback. Bryn was subsequently ejected for carrying the hydrating knapsack onto the court. It was a tragic end to a career that, in my ways, stimulated the palate.

Be first to comment