The Turquoise Nest

Charlotte Hornets

 

Where is VH1 because the 90’s are back and I love them.

Grab your pogs and your JNCOs you who live along that creek that runs by Dawson’s house because, while there may be no hope with dope, there is certainly hope with Rex Chapman.

That’s the buzz of a renewed sense of purpose for Charlotte you’re hearing sweetly and softly like warm honey in your ear. The Charlotte Hornets, those turquoise tinged harbingers of doom, are stepping into a Delorean and punching it to 88. They are the Bobcats no more. Well, that’s what Michael Jordan announced Tuesday, anyway.

So, dudes, get your L arms out, go watch Space Jam, try to imitate Mugsy’s voice, and name your first born child Alonzo Mourning WhateverYourLastNameIs because the boys are in the turquoise nest once more and their stingers are primed and prepared for league wide destruction.

I’m fully aware of the fact that the team itself will probably be a disaster. They have no shooting and no solid interior offensive presence to speak of. There’s probably not a lot of help coming in the draft, Jordan has shown a shocking inability to get quality players in the door, and nobody in Charlotte really shows up to the games. I know all that.

But this isn’t about the bad stuff. There’s enough bad stuff. Tornadoes and the like. Let’s think good thoughts.

This is about nostalgia. This is about the joys of GrandMamma Johnson. This is about Starter jackets. This is about Kendall Cussin’ Gill.

Here’s hoping Jordan dresses them better than he dresses himself and re-brands them correctly. You don’t have to put any thought into it. Break out the retros and let Basketball America swoon.

Buzz. Buzz.

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