Lots of know-it-all players in the NBA. Last year, I’m talkin’ to Pau Gasol. He’s tryin’ to tell me about all this charity work and yada yada. I’m thinkin’, here’s this giant Spaniard and —
[Coughs uncontrollably for 90 seconds]
Where was I? Right. So Kevin Durant is about to check into the game before the second free throw. That’s against the f*cking rules and that mother f*cker knows that. I call him out on it and he claims he wasn’t thinkin’. So… [Walks to corner. Unzips pants and begins to urinate.]
I walk up to him, put my finger to his mouth and told him, “Hey, Kevin. Shut the f*ck up. You ever considered that, Kevin? Shuttin’ the f*ck up? Like, do you ever sit there and think, ‘Huh. I wonder what the world would be like if I just sit here and shut the f*** up?’ I bet it’d be a pretty great place, Kevin. Perhaps you should take a nice long break from wasting everyone’s f*cking time and shut the f*ck up.”
[Zips up pants. Walks back to chair]
That’s when I knew that basketball was more than a game for me.