The Denver Nuggiest

denver nuggest

The Denver Nuggets are 1-8 since Coach Brian Shaw banned pizza and nachos from the locker room (via r/nba).

Jan 1st was the day that recreational marijuana became legal to sell. Just like the High Altitude, legal weed is a competitive advantage for the Nuggets. I mean they are called “The Nuggets” for crying in the dank mud. Shaw banning munchies like Pizza and Nachos is a move in the wrong direction- the Nuggets should be encouraging the new Mile High Initiative. Here are some ideas to help push the Nuggets in the right direction.  Snoochie. Boochies.


  • Start home games at 4:20. This seems easy.

  • New Mascot. The Nuggets could get rid of “Rocky” since he already hung himself. They can add Willie Nelson or Snoop Lion or like a Doritos Locos Taco or something.

  • In game music. Just play the entire “Phish Live at Portland Meadows 7/15/98 starting at tip off going to the end of the game. It completely matches up. Its nuts.

  • Start selling Cereal at games. Also those mini drumsticks.

  • Instead of playing 4 quarters The Nuggets could play a game divided by eighths

  • Uniforms. Not tie dye, thats patronizing. It needs to be something that’s comfortable and easy to manage that you can wear anywhere. Actually those new sleeved jerseys are perfect.

Hopefully Denver will use these tips and realize they have a unique competitive advantage. Also, Shaw, let JaVale McGee eat Pizza and Nachos.

1 Comment

  • Reply January 3, 2014


    nice, “it completely matches up” — that’s awesome.

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