Meet the NBA-Mid-August-Go-Getting-Content-Finders! They are a group of young/hip teens who scour all of planet earth to find NBA content in the hardest to reach places… during mid-August! They were the brightest kids in their class but the government knew they were meant for more important tasks like giving NBA lovers something to cling to while they try to manage their sad/pathetic lives… during mid-August.
Adventure time! NBA-Mid-August-Go-Getting-Content-Finders…. Go!
While on the Isle of Ghosts, Debbie found herself in a lighthouse with only the ESPN Trade Machine AP on her smartphone. Even worse, it’s mid-August and she needs NBA content…. real bad.
She hears a noise from the cupboard and opens the door.
Ah hah! Real NBA content!
“Not so fast!” said the evil ghost.. ”This is like the 34th time he’s retired, right? It sure feels like it. I felt sad the first, second, and third time I thought he was done, but let’s be real with ourselves. Iverson retiring seems like a bit of a stretch of relevant content. That’s all I’m saying ”
“Oh… no.” whispers Debbie.
Jackson is on a boat on Lake of the Dead Souls trying to paddle his way to shore. The dead souls have turned his phone on “Airplane Mode” and he can’t change it back. Even worse, it’s mid-August and he needed NBA content… real bad.
He see’s something coming from beneath the dark waters.
Thank goodness, I found good NBA content!
“I don’t think so!” screeched a dead soul. ”That crown doesn’t really matter in the basketball world. It’s like saying I’m the king of my backyard. Nobody is really THAT great in my backyard so really cares? Being the best in NYC just kind of means you’re the best of a mediocre basketball city. Not content. Just crap!”
“Oh… sweet mother, no.” whimpered Jackson.
PJ is in The Caverns of the Night Crawlers using only a match to find his way around. Reddit has crashed on his phone due to the Night Crawlers disabling that URL. Even worse, it’s mid-August and he needs NBA content… real bad.
From a deep dark crevice he see’s something crawling.
“Wow. I found some real NBA Content. Neat-o!”
“I’m not so sure about that.” said the head night crawler. ”First off, if this was any other time of year, you wouldn’t care at all. Second, are you sure this isn’t some State Farm/Cliff Paul marketing stunt to try and squeeze out whatever crap they have left from that ad campaign? And last, Derek Fisher was our last union president. How much did you care about that, really?
“Oh… heaven in the sky… no.” breathed PJ.
We came up empty handed again, Mr. President.
But, we did find this!
Great work, gang.