The Inner Dialogue Of A Reverse Dunk: Westbrook Edition


Yahhhhh, nope! Mine, Tony. Lmfao, Marco. What an idiot! I am a mutant cheetah and you would dare test me? I don’t even care that Fratello will act like this isn’t a big deal. He hates us for some reason.

This ball is mine! Dude fell down and this ball is mine! Lmao how embarrassing the he fell down due to my athleticism. Athletic. Athaletic. It sounds like some people sometimes say athaletic instead of athletic. They give it an extra syllable and I’m like why, you know? But you know I’m also always about why not! Tis my life’s passion! Tis my dream! Helluva cookie grab from me right here but lemme go ahead and submit this play for highlight consideration. Lemme cement it’s place on SportsCenter! Fox Sports 1! Someone’s Twitter video who’s trying to get retweets!!

Let the people get loud for me. Let the people get live. Lemme rock the cradle for em. I remember when I was but a babe my only dream was to fly and now I can fulfill that dream once more! Now I can love the way that I was born to! Now I can feel!

Two hands this time, Russ. Oh, Russell! You devil! How long has it been since you’ve given the home Oklahoma City fans a dunk of that caliber?! Too long. Stop talking to yourself, Russ. Bellinelli’s trying to throw it ahead to Parker. That Italian sausage trying to beat me, Mr. Why Not, in a battle of wits? I laugh at that but I shall get back. Get back. You don’t know me like that. Luda has not put out anything of substance in awhile. What happened!? Get back!

Oh, Pop’s gonna burn one. Let the bowels of Chesapeake erupt for me! I’m still alive! I’m still here!! Joaquin Phoenix!! That was a weird fake documentary. I watched that on Netflix the other night. He inhales cocaine off of a woman’s breast! How strange!! Kings and Jax! Underwear!!! I think I’ll stay out here at the middle of the court and let the applause rain down upon me. Wash me clean, noisy hands. Make me even more lovely!!!

I’m gonna do that hand thing now where instead of using all my arms to ask for more noise from the crowd I just move my hands. Hand thing! Yeaaaa. Hand thing!! Get up out of your seats and applaud me for I’ve been killing this dunk game for a minute now and I want to experience the love you shower upon me in real time. I’m paying attention now! Look at me and give love!! Show love!!! Yeaaaaa!!!

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