Kevin Durant and Kevin Love have made their commitment to the 2014 World Cup, a tournament that normally doesn’t see this level of superstardom.
Since they plan on representing our country in such a dominant and awesome way, they’ve decided to create the Constitution of Team USA Basketball. The first draft is below.
PreambleWe the Ballers of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect squad, establish Dominance, insure domestic dunking, provide for the common zone defense, promote general alley-oops, and secure the Blessings of Victory to ourselves and our big guys in the Post, do ordain and establish this dope Constitution for the United States of America Basketball squad. Yessir!
Article ISection 1. All legislative shooting Powers herein granted shall be dished out by the Point Guards of the United States Basketball Team, which shall consist of a Finisher at the Rim, and a solid Pick-and Roll dude. Section 2. The Squad of Representin’ the front court, shall be composed by big dudes chosen every second Season by the Creators of several Power Rankings, and the Electors of each Power Rankings shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Twitter Followers. Section 3. The Back-Court of the United States shall be composed of two Guards from each Conference, chosen by the Coach thereof for two Years; and each Guard shall have one dope-ass crossover move. Section 4. The Times, Places and Manner of holding locker-room meetings for Guards and Big Dudes, shall be prescribed by each Captain of the Squad thereof, but the Head Coach may at any time, by Law, make or alter such meetings except for the Places of Importance, ie… The Cheesecake Factory. Section 5. Each alpha-dog shall be the Judge of the Rejections, Steals, and Qualifications of it’s own Member’s fly-ness, and a Majority of each shall constitute a pick-up game to handle Business, but a small Number may hoop day-to-day, and may be authorized to compel Technical Fouls of trippin’ Ballers, in such a Manner, and under such Penalties as each Squad may provide. Each Squad may determine the rules of it’s Proceedings, punish it’s Ballers for disorderly Behavior, and actin’ like a dumbass, and, with concurrence of two thirds, expel a Baller. Done in Convention by Unanimous Consent of Kevin Durant and Kevin Love, present the Twenty-Fifth Day of July in the Year of our Lord, Two thousand and Thirteen and the Independence of the United States of America Basketball Team the witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Twitter Handles.