*Sports America is a section of Ballerball where we let the fans vote to on important sports arguments. We are definitely the first people to do this type of thing. Voting is at the bottom of this piece.
You heard it. I heard it. We all suffered from it. The woman who was screaming during the Spurs vs. Warriors game last night. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m still recovering.
That unbelievably hideous screeching in the background of the game made all of America join hands and say “This lady needs to be stopped.” We can’t unanimously vote on an MVP, but we can absolutely come together on the important issue of never letting this lady near an NBA arena (or a microphone) ever again.
We did some extensive research to find out who this lady is. It’s been narrowed down to three possible candidates.
Sports America, we are calling on you to vote at the end of this piece, so we can truly get to the bottom of this.
During one of the time outs, we think we may have spotted this lady when the camera was on Chris Webber and Dick Stockton. Let’s see.
No. That’s not what I was thinking…
Let’s check the next frame.
Yup. There she is. A young Janet Leigh from Psycho. This is interesting and makes sense because it did sound like someone dying. She’s clearly a crazy Spurs fan, too, because she’s painted herself in all grey.
Candidate # 2
This one is tricky to spot.
A camera guy was taking a photo of the general reactions of some players and fans, and it turns out he caught something that I hadn’t noticed during the game.
No no no. That’s not it.
Huh… let’s check out the next picture.
Right there! I remember thinking last night, “I wonder if this woman who is screaming is really just a power drill?” Turns out, I may have been on to something.
This actually makes the most sense. Just like the movies, we took this lady’s voice and were able to find an exact match in a giant voice database.
Below is the match.
That’s right. It turns out this lady might just be a small monkey. Sure, it might be a little inconceivable, but San Antonio has all sorts of wild animals in that building.
We are calling on you, Sports America. We need your vote to help us figure out who this screeching woman is so we can make sure that our ears never have to suffer again.