Sources close to the situation (my own eyes) have informed me that my wife has selfishly thrown away my Jamal Mashburn Dallas Mavericks Jersey.
This is a big blow to my closet because it’s my only pre-Mark-Cuban Mavericks apparel, which makes it the last remaining artifact that I’m not some punk bandwagon fan.
Yeah: that jersey.
Did I do something with my Mashburn jersey? Did I throw away that beautiful piece of Starter-branded fabric? Why would I do such a thing?
A source close to my wife says, “Lower your voice. Maybe you just lost the thing.”
Let me quickly check with my sources on that.
Just what I thought. My sources are now saying, “WHY DON’T YOU LOWER YOUR VOICE, CATHY!”
The missing jersey is projected to cause a cataclysmic shift on the DVR when my wife sees there are no more Grey’s Anatomy recordings to be found.
Despite Cathy calling that a “drastic step,” such retributive action seems to be the most logical move to make.
When asked to comment, my wife simply rolled her eyes and called me “an idiot.”
We asked Ballerball Nation to weigh in (my barber, Freddie) and the result is: “You’re not an idiot. Maybe she’s the idiot.”
As the deadline approaches (to me completely losing my mind) – we will see what moves my wife will make to help solve this issue.
We will keep you all posted.