Robert Pera is Cool

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Memphis Grizzlies owner Robert Pera sent out a memo to all Grizzlies personnel yesterday after SI’s Chris Mannix published a scathing article about the organizational turmoil the Grizzlies are currently experiencing.

From the Sickest Solid Oak Desk With Little Flakes of Platinum In It of Robert Pera:

Hi everyone. It’s rough in the streets right now. Media’s blitzing us all, but we must stay strong and united and cool in the face of evil (Mannix). As the eyes of the nation turn to our squad I wanted to let all personnel know that we’re going to be upping our amount of coolness and chillness even more — I know we’re already fresh to deaf but it is possible — in the coming weeks and months. 

Let’s get into it. All front office staff will be required to wear a shooting sleeve throughout the entire work day. I wear one with great regularity and not only does it boost my confidence but it also feels great. You feel like Iverson. Chris, we should see if we can get him back by the way. I know he didn’t have a fantastic experience here initially, but that was under the old guard. The new guard — my guard — is chill as hell. We’ll talk more offline about this, Chris. 

I’ll also ask that everyone wear Jordans from here on out. We’ll have a Jordan brand rep in the building tomorrow who will be doing sizings and fittings in our Chill Room (the banquet hall to the left of my office for you newbs out there — Chris). I’ll take some 4’s in a 12, please! 

We will be extending our in office bar happy hours to be between the hours of 1PM and 6PM and our personalized and customized Grizz Growlers WILL BE THE ONLY THINGS WE DRINK OUT OF FROM HERE ON OUT. They look dope and should be featured on each of your Instagrams using the hashtag #grizzgrowler. We’re working with all our Pro Shops at the FedEx Forum to get them available for purchase as early as tomorrow so be looking out for that as well. 

This is somewhat unrelated, but I got a haircut yesterday. Please make sure to stop by my office and tell me how good it looks. No rush, just whenever you get a chance. It needs to be today, obviously, but I’ll be in the office till 7 so you’ve got some time. Don’t stop between 4 and 5, though, that’s when I’m at tumbling. I’ve been taking tumbling classes. They’ve been going really well.

Timberlake will be coming through the office more frequently in the coming weeks. We’ve got Vevo following him around as I type so be looking for that video to go up on YouTube sometime in the next week as well. He’s in Grizz gear throughout so it should be a fantastic way to get our brand out there even more. 

Finally, I spoke with Hollinger and he’s agreed to begin growing out a goatee. It’s going to look sick! 

Let’s make sure we’re all being cool and dope this week, my homies. 

One (Real) Love, 

Bobby P

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