Our Last Hope: Reclaiming the Playoffs from the Evil Lord Injury




A voice in the distance cries, “Nooooooo!!!”

Tim Duncan sits, hiding in the desolate wood.  “Another man down,” said Duncan, as he looked at the names in his tiger printed Trapper Keeper.

Kobe Bryant – Derrick Rose – Danny Granger – David Lee – Danilo Gallinari – Kevin Love – Andrew Bynum – Rajon Rondo – Russell Westbrook.

One by one, the stars of the NBA playoffs were being wiped out by the Dark Lord Injury.   The Dark Lord was hoping to claim the playoffs for himself and rule over them forever.



A Gathering

LeBron James stood in front of the crowd of players and preached.

“Who will join the rebel cause and defeat the evil Lord Injury!  Hash-tag Fight! Who will help bring order to the NBA playoffs?  Who will join me!? Hash-tag United!  Hash-tag Brothers!  Hash-tag Won’t Back Down!” shouted LeBron.

The first to step forward was Carmelo Anthony, followed by Chris Paul, Marc Gasol, Paul George, and Tim Duncan.

Two unexpected rebels stepped up: Nate Robinson and Stephen Curry.

“I will join you,” said Steph. “I am a basketball player, like my father before me.”

LeBron nodded. Then winked.

“Please don’t wink at me,” said Steph.



The Broken Returns

LeBron explained the game plan for how to defeat Darth Injury using careful strategy and several hash tags.  Suddenly…

“I’m in!” said an old raspy voice.

The crowd turned and saw that it was a battered and bruised Kevin Durant. Kevin’s brother, Russell, had fallen to Darth Injury just days prior.

“I thought you wouldn’t show. Hash-tag 2 sad,”  said LeBron

“You were wrong. Darth Injury has taken its last star from our playoffs. This is OUR postseason. Let’s get the bastard,”  replied Kevin.

Chris Paul started a slow clap. Nobody joined.




Hours later, as everyone laced up, ready to fight, Steph and KD gazed upward and saw pictures of the fallen.  There was Lee and there was Westbrook.  They looked at each other to share a moment of understanding.

“Hash-tag FML, am I right?” said  LeBron right behind them. “You know, if you listen and meditate, and truly become one with the playoffs, then you can communicate with the fallen via Twitter. ”

KD and Steph didn’t believe him.  Their hope had already been shaken.



A Visit from the Fallen

The rebel players have now lined up.  Game in hand.  All of the players looked at each other and knew, this is it.  Except Nate Robinson… He just stared at himself in a mirror and flexed.

“Look!” shouted Steph as he pointed to the east.

The players turned and saw the fallen in the form of spirits.  They were smiling while holding their smartphones.  Russ approached Kevin with a message on his smart phone that said, #AvengeWestbrook #WhyNot?

Kevin nodded.

Kobe approached Carmelowith a message that said, #WhereIsDwight?

“He’s not here.  He quit hours ago.”  said Duncan.  “I’m very sorry.”

Kobe typed in another message that said #GoodLuckFromVino #VinoSpear #VinoWars #VinoDislikesDwight #DwightSucks #GoodLuckToYouThough.  He then instagramed a pic of himself doing a ‘thumbs up’ sign and showed everyone.  Kobe then walked back to the group of the fallen.

This was it.  The remaining healthy athletes looked around; they know their mission: defeat Darth Injury and reclaim the playoffs as their own.

Godspeed, uninjured NBA players left in the playoffs… Hash-tag Godspeed.


Leave a Reply