Posters: Byron Mullens Edition

Portland Trail Blazers v Charlotte Bobcats

Poster Creator: Byron Mullens and his socks

Poster Victim: LaMarcus Aldridge

Firstly, the fact that this dunk was preceded by Byron “Don’t you even think of calling me B.J.” Mullens chucking up a contested three is the most perfect thing ever that isn’t President Whitmore’s speech at the end of Independence Day, or Beyonce’s live backstage before American Idol version of 1+1 that Jay Z filmed with his phone. The guy is firing up five threes a game and making a chilly 28% of them. He’s also a 7 foot center that’s attempting just two free throws a game. So, of course he’s putting up that kind of shot with 17 seconds left on the shot clock. Thad Matta is laughing hysterically somewhere.

Secondly, what alternate reality are we living in where something like this can happen? What parallel dimension is this where Mullens, once a perennial contender for the most pervy facial hair in the league, can bomb atomically on one, LaMarcus Aldridge, a potential All Star Power Forward? In this dimension the moon is made of cheese and Cee Lo is made of whatever Peeps are made of. J.J. Hickson does Aldridge no favors with just zero attempt to put a body on Mullens to keep him off the boards. That’s about a negative attempt actually. Now, it’s unfair to judge Hickson off this one play. He’s been rebounding at an incredible rate this season and is averaging a double-double on the year, small sample size style. But still. Don’t let Beej do your boy like that.

Thirdly, let’s all just go ahead and shut it down. This was equal parts hilarious and awesome. Anything that can make the Charlotte crowd sound like there’s more than twelve people in that building has to be next level. There is no denying this was all kinds of excellent. Byron Mullens needs to get a tan while this highlight is fresh in our minds, because his time in the sun is now.

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