The following is a transcript of a recording taken just moments after the Orlando Magic defeated the Oklahoma City Thunder in thrilling game that ended in a buzzer beating slam dunk to win the game.
(Recap: Victor Oladipo grabs the rebound and starts the break. He passes to an open Maurice Harkless who [for reasons unknown] passes to Tobias Harris with ONE SECOND LEFT. Tobias Harris dunks it win the game.)
-INT. ORLANDO MAGIC LOCKEROOM
(Loud music and dancing)
Tobias Harris: OOOHH SON!! THIS IS OUR HOUSE!! TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO OKC BECAUSE WE RUN THIS THING IN THE O-R-L!!
Victor Oladipo: HEEELL YEAH!
Arron Afflalo: AT THE BUZZ-ER – BUZZ – BUZZ-ER – BUZZER – BUZZ – BUZZ – BUZZ – ER!!!
Nikola Vucevic: FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!
Tobias Harris: I TOLD YA’LL. THE DEVIL IS A LIE! I’M THE TRUTH!!!!
Glen Davis: ALL DAY! AAAAALLL DAY!!!!
Victor Oladipo: OUR HOUSE BABY!!!
Maurice Harkless: It wouldn’t have happened without my sweet pass though. Heh.
(Music comes to a screeching halt.)
Tobias Harris: Yeah man. That was really great. Thanks for it.
Maurice Harkless: It was? I looked up at the clock and thought… “I’ve got just enough time.” Honest, I did.
Victor Oladipo: Sure you did, buddy. We know you knew.
Glen Davis: Pfff.
Nikola Vucevic: Shut up, Glen.
Glen Davis: He was scared to shoot a buzzer beater.
Maurice Harkless: What?
Tobias Harris: Dude!
Maurice Harkless: I was not… scared. I knew how much time was left. I just wanted to see a buzzer beating dunk for the win, OK?
Arron Afflalo: We believe you.
Glen Davis: Haha. Hahaha. Hahahaha. Ya’ll can’t be serious!
Maurice Harkless: Hey! I am NOT scared to take a buzzer beater.
Victor Oladipo: Of coarse not.
Nikola Vucevic: We know.
Glen Davis: This is too much. Dude was so scared the pin stripes almost fell off his jersey.
Maurice Harkless: They did not! Watch. Next game. I’ll shoot a buzzer beater. I promise, I will.
Arron Afflalo: We know you will, man.
Marice Harkless: ……..
Maurice Harkless: Tobias?
Tobias Harris: Yeah, bud?
Maurice Harkless: Would you say that my assist was sick?
Tobias Harris: Oh. The sickest?
Maurice Harkless: And it was probably the best part of the play?
Tobias Harris: Absolutely.
Maurice Harkless: And they’ll call that play “The Assist” forever and ever?
Tobias Harris: You bet.
Maurice Harkless: Ok.
(Glen Davis chuckles and shakes his head as he walks out of the locker room.)
Maurice Harkless: What’s his problem?
Arron Afflalo: Oh you know. Uh… travel lodge was out of rooms again.
Maurice Harkless: Heh.
Arron Afflalo: Is that a smile I see?
Maurice Harkless: No…
Victor Oladipo: Maurice? I think it is…
Maurice Harkless: Ok. Haha.
Nikola Vucevic: Come on. Let’s go get you some ice cream to celebrate the win.
Maurice Harkless: And you think we can get the ice cream place to name an ice cream flavor “The Assist?”
(Everyone looks at Tobias)
Tobias Harris: Sure thing. Anything you want, buddy. This is your night.
(End of transcript)