Nate Robinson Is Charlie Conway



A blended and liquid Kris Humphries is the best kind of Kris Humphries because that is the kind that goes down the most easily. Mix him up and put the blades on high and turn him into a smoothie because, despite his newly revealed Foot Lockerish self awareness, this is still the guy that tried to have a real moment with Kim Kardashian about her psoriasis in front of the whole entire planet.

In and out Nate goes as Humphries stands there, frozen as a Kardashian face, wondering where on earth that little guy went. He’s past you now, scooping up a finger roll for America. Lord Dissick cannot help you. Neither can Lamar or Rob. You are on your own, on an island, with Little Nate running circles around you every which way.

For all intents and purposes, Nate hit Kris with the triple deke. He 1, 2, 3’ed him. Really, he Charlie Conway-ed him. Or Charlie Conway-ed him after Charlie Conway had been Gordon Bombay-ed.

A few things.

First, Gordon’s come a long way from driving a limo out onto the ice. Second, Look at Chuck. Just destroying the Hawks dreams. Making that collar popping Coach Reilly double face palm it. This is American cinema when it is operating at the highest possible level. You have reached the top floor of the upper echelon.

Third, of course Connie thought Gee should take it. Letting love get in the way of a rational decision. We could also say the same about Bombay since he was SUPER DUPER ALL ABOUT Charlie’s mom at the time, but it’s Estevez and he once said “Thanks, Bro” so we should all let him slide.

Fourth, thanks be to Emilio Estevez for finally pushing up and over the top the idea that everyone looks cooler with their top button buttoned.

Fifth, I always found it funny that the makers of the Mighty Ducks never made the goalie of the Hawks one of the main villains. Think of how much greater the stakes would have been if Charlie was going up against the big, bad bully that had made the Ducks lives miserable for several years? What vengeance we could have been privy to. As it is, the jerk chotchkies that hang their heads at the 2:01 mark, the dudes that they established as the greatest villains among all the villainous Hawks players, are left to just stand by and watch. A missed opportunity, Disney. Your company is going nowhere.

Back to less important issues.

PJ felt Nate traveled there but got no call. Granted, this is Chicago and people walk everywhere, especially in the springtime, but this was no walk. Just a good ole fashioned hesitation move, narrated by the guy who once bit a woman, Marv Albert.

The crowd goes wild like they’re getting free Gino’s for life and we should all, at least once, take some time to get lost in the Red Sea.

Kris Humphries, Cake Eater supreme. Nate Robinson, a modern day Charlie Conway.

Quack. Quack. Quack. Onto Game 7.

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