The questions for today’s MVP discussion come from Oscar-winning actor and sometime shoe salesman, Jamie Foxx.
1. What’s the leading reason for Stephen Curry to be the MVP?
Russell Westbrook: Um, Jamie, no offense, but that seems like a leading question.
Anthony Davis: Steph’s got a pretty good all-around game. His team has the best record in the League. He’s revived his city. Wait, I just gave you too many reasons. I don’t know. There are so many. He’s not just a great guy. He’s a leader. Intangibles. That’s the one.
James Harden: Only thing positive I can say is he doesn’t play with Kevin Durant. If you want to win an MVP, you either leave OKC or make accidents more likely to happen. Am I right, Russ? Or am I right?
LeBron James: Golden State’s improved from last year. An MVP always raises a team’s ceiling. Steph does that. Let’s say for example he went to four straight titles and maybe one two of them and then left Golden State for a place like Charlotte or maybe Cleveland. Let’s say he did that in a few years and the Warriors got worse and his new team got better by a lot. Wouldn’t that make him the MVP?
Stephen Curry: I’m humbled I am by the question, but we’ve got the same roster pretty much as last year. Coach Kerr has been great for us.
2. Do you have a second reason Stephen Curry should be the MVP?
Russell Westbrook: How is that a different question?
Anthony Davis: Oh, man, I knew I shouldn’t have given so many good answers so early. How am I going to live up to the potential of those first answers? I apologize, everyone. I’m new to these discussions.
James Harden: Well, if you want to win an MVP, you gotta leave Russell behind too, I guess. Am I right, KD? Or am I right?
LeBron James: One thing you never hear Steph do is go public with his complaints. That’s classy. That shows he has real love for his teammates. I mean that’s real love, not fake love. That’s triple-double love, not stand in the corner and watch love. That’s . . . that’s the kind of love that’s the purest. You find that kind of love, well, you’re going places.
Stephen Curry: Again, very humbled. Again, thankful to my coach. I guess I should give a shout out to Klay Thompson. What’s up, Klay? Can you believe this?
3. Do you have a third reason Stephen Curry should be the MVP?
Russell Westbrook: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Anthony Davis: Hey, you don’t have to ask me twice.
LeBron James: Did Steph ever go to team where a guy was thought to be washed up and breathe new life into him? Did he ever go to a different team and help a player reach his full potential? These are the traits of an MVP candidate. If Steph does these things, then I have no problem with him being named in the discussion. However, maybe there’s a guy out there who’s already done these things.
James Harden: Well, if you want to win MVP, you’ve gotta run all the other talent out of town. Am I right, Jimmy Harden? Or am I right?
Stephen Curry: I get a lot of help from Draymond Green. Announcers always say he’s what makes our team go. What up, Draymond? I see you putting in work.
4. How is Stephen Curry most like William Shakespeare?
Russell Westbrook: Have you even seen Titus Adronicus, you blind Ray Charles wannabe? I am about to douse you in blood. I will pop out your eyes! You are the most one trickinest pony I ever did see. Hot damn!
Anthony Davis: Coach Cal used to tell us, “I don’t need you to go once more into the breach. I just need you to go once. Go once into the breach, get a ring, and get drafted.” Does that work?
LeBron James: Don’t they call William the Bard? Like isn’t that his nickname? Seems to me an MVP should have a strong nickname like The __________________. Fill that blank in with something that sets him apart, you know. What’s Stephen Curry’s nickname? Isn’t he part of the Splash Brothers? The Bard isn’t part of the Shakespeare Brothers.
Stephen Curry: I meant to tell you this during our commercial shoot, Jamie, but I’ve never actually read or seen a play by Shakespeare. I know it’s surprising because I went to Davidson and all, but I just never had the time. I saw the movie O once. It had Mekhi Phifer in it.
5. Do you have a fifth reason for why Stephen Curry should be MVP?
Russell Westbrook: How can it be the fifth? You didn’t ask us for a fourth!
Anthony Davis: He really does have an all-around good game.
James Harden: Has he played without his starting center most of the year? Am I right, Dwight? Or am I right?
LeBron James: The numbers on his jersey add up to three, right? If a guy is going after his fifth MVP, then it seems like the number on his jersey should add up to five.
Stephen Curry: I’m just humbled to be in the discussion. Also, I think you did a really good job hosting, Jamie. I was worried when they said Mark Jackson was going to do it. You know, with us doing so well and all.
Bryan Harvey can be followed on Twitter @LawnChairBoys.