MidFirst Bank offers a full range of commercial, trust, private banking and mortgage banking products and services. MidFirst is a strong commercial real estate lender and a major servicer of mortgage loans nationally. Their primary markets are Oklahoma City, Phoenix, Tulsa and western Oklahoma. They have commercial real estate lending offices in Atlanta, Houston, New York and Southern California. They also sponsor the half-court shot at home games for the Oklahoma City Thunder, a shot that’s been hit 5 times since February and 2 times this week. Each time it’s made, the fan that hit the shot gets $20,000. MidFirst executives, frustrated with the constant paydays, reached out to Joel, the emcee for Chesapeake Energy Arena, to air some of their frustrations with his performance via email.
Ballerball was able to uncover that email.
Just wanted to touch base with you here quick before the Holidays because it’s about to get nuts here at MidFirst Bank. We have a hilarious commercial scheduled we’re amped about. But that’s not why we’re contacting you, Joel. You know why we’re contacting you. Another idiot hit another half-court shot last night on your watch, man. That’s two this week and five since February. Now we can’t be having this anymore. It’s wholly unacceptable at this point and it has to stop now.
Frankly, we’re stuck with this sponsorship. All eyes are on us and, truthfully, we should yank our stupid sponsorship at this point. It’s brought upon nothing but trouble and these $20,000 paydays are not our idea of a good time. From here on out, if someone comes up and looks like they have the potential to hit a halfcourt shot, then you do WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Run them over. Trip them. Scream as they’re shooting the ball. Get with Rumble and have him tackle them right before release. Whatever. We don’t care how it happens, just make sure that makes stop happening. It’s nice when people need the money and stuff. But if it’s just any ole dude out there in a backwards snapback just looking for a reason to be able to go over and touch Beyonce, then we’re not about that.
Your job is safe at the moment. Even if we wanted to fire you we couldn’t. Everyone would know what we were doing and it’d look bad. But again, this cannot be overstated enough: WE CANNOT KEEP GOING AT THE PACE WE ARE CURRENTLY AT. If even three more fans hit half-court shots this season, we will be forced to go to the Thunder organization and suggest a change in the emcee role for next year.
Understand, this is not something we want to do as we like you and find you absurdly charming, but this America. We are a business. It is a businesses job to make money and to survive. We cannot do either of those things if we’re doling out $40,000 every two weeks. We’ve got families to feed.
The thing that hurts the most, though, Joel, is how happy you are when they make it. We understand you have to keep up appearances and it’ll look bad to not be somewhat excited for the person, but you run around with the fan and scream and yell and shout all this nonsense. It’s sad for us to see. It’s like you’re happy that we’re sinking further into financial trouble. Do you want us to die? Because if you keep allowing this to happen we will.
You were so nice at the pre-season brunch get together we all had at that McAlister’s Deli in Edmond. Not sure what happened since then. You talked about wanting to put a good face on the bank and your claims that we could “do something real special” this year was a nice sentiment initially, but if this is what you had in mind then please chill with all the specialness.
Again, if this persists, we will be forced to take action after the season. Think on your sins, Joel. Think on them hard. It is up to you whether or not you want to have that job next season. Oh, maybe you just give them a really weird shaped ball? Or just do something like roll out another hoop and have them shoot in that one but on that goal the rim is like those rims at the basketball shoot at the fair? All smushed and stuff? Just a thought.
Anyways. You’re a good guy. Don’t make us fire you. Handle it.