Mark Cuban Weighs In On Random Couple’s Argument

mark cuban

After a long night of arguing, Jessie and Hannah wake up the next morning still angry with each other.  Hannah attempts to ignore Jessie by heading straight to the kitchen to have herself some cereal.  The night before, the couple went out to eat with friends. Jessie felt the need to reveal to the group that they were late because Hannah couldn’t decide what to wear saying, “She’s always worried that her ankles look too big.”  Hannah did not feel it was appropriate to reveal this information which resulted in an everlasting evening of dirty looks and rolling eyes.

As Hannah sits in the kitchen eating her cereal, Jessie walks in.

“So this is how it goes then?” says Jessie.  “You’re not even going to try to work this out.  Just sit there with you Mini-Wheats and your saltiness. Whatever.”

“Believe me, I tried.” replies Hannah. “You just have to tell everyone my life story, don’t you.”

“Everyone?! Really?  Luke and Gene? That’s everyone?”  says Jessie. “And that bit about your ankles…  that’s your life story? So your memoirs would be entitled ‘Hannah and Her Ankles??’  Give me a freggin break. ”

Hannah calls Jessie an “ass” and proceeds to read her magazine.

Suddenly, the couple hears a noise from the hallway.  They had no idea what the noise could have been as they had no kids or pets.

“Who’s there?” shouts Jessie.

They hear footsteps coming closer and closer.  Suddenly the kitchen door flies open.

It’s Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban

“Ok, right. So in order to resolve an issue like this, you first half to look within yourself and recognize your own faults.” says Cuban.

“What?” says a confused Hannah.

Cuban opens the fridge and begins rummaging through.


“Right? The fact of the matter is that we’re all late from time to time.” replies Cuban. “That’s something that we all have to embrace about ourselves. We can’t expect immediate change. It’s a gradual – step-by-step process.”

Cuban pulls out some ham, cheese and mustard. He shuts the fridge with his leg.

“Any wheat bread? asks Cuban.

“Behind you. Top cupboard.” replies Jessie.

Mark grabs the bread and begins to make his sandwich.

Cubes in an argumen

“Anyways, like I was saying.” continued Cuban. “Eventually you have to do what’s right for you and your relationship, right?  When I get in an argument with my spouse – I like to be active in our growth as a couple.”

“Why are you here?” asks Jessie.

“Yeah, I’d also like to know why you’re here.” says Hannah.

“Exactly, right? I’m in a relationship too which means I have a responsibility to chime in and contribute to the conversation.” says Cuban as he bites into his sandwich.

“I’m not sure that we need your help on this one.” replies Hannah. “And honestly… wait… what are you doing?”

“Tweeting” replies Cuban while typing away on his phone. “Apparently there’s an argument going on about whether the ‘Game of Thrones’ finale was good or not.”

“Oh.  Why do you care?” asks Jessie.

“Right. See, I have a television so…” replies Mark.

“Have you even seen ‘Game of Thrones’?” asks Jessie.

“Look guys. It’s been great.” said Cuban. “Please email me with any questions and I’ll do my best to get back at you. Even questions that have nothing to do with this argument, I’d love to just weigh in and give you some constructive feedback. Take care my MFFLs!”

Mark walks out the backdoor.  Jessie and Hannah stare as he attempts to climb the fence in their backyard.

“What’s a MFFL?” asks Hannah.

Jessie laughs and hugs Hannah.

“Not a clue.”


*Writer’s Note: I love Mark Cuban. Best owner in sports. 

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