Dirk stands in the captain’s office. His clothes are covered in burn marks and his breathe smells of alcohol. He looks like a school-boy who has just been caught stealing as he is grilled by the Captain. The Captain is Joe Pesci, because of coarse.
“You punk field officers think you’re so great.” says the Captain. “The reality is you crashed your car into three buildings, ruined an entire city block, and blew up four warehouses… all so you could catch one guy! What do you have to say for yourself!?”
“Well. I was trying to catch the guy because he’s a drug dealer and was planning on using his drug money to buy an army tank. ” explains Dirk. “That tank alone could wipe out all of Plano, TX for all we know.”
“That’s no excuse!” screams the Captain.
“Yeah.” says Dirk. “It was a rough one, but at the end of the day, we got the W. I feel pretty good about that.”
“Tell me, how you feel about this!” screams the Captain. “You’ve got a new partner and here he is!”
Dirk turns and see’s Monta Ellis walk in.
“Where’s the party at?!” says Monta as he does the Macarena.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” yells Dirk.
Dirk and Monta are driving in their police car. Monta is actin’ all hilarious because his hat is backwards. This is going to be a wacky day!
“Would you turn that music off?” asks Dirk.
“What?! You don’t like Maroon 5! Tell me you don’t like when he’s all… ‘SHE WIIIIIIILL BE LOOOOOVED!'” says Monta.
“That’s it!” screams Dirk.
Dirk pulls the car over and get’s out. He stares at the Dallas skyline with his hands on his hips.
“I don’t like you, Monta. This is never gonna work.” says Dirk.
“So it’s like that, huh?” says Monta. “Alright, well… see ya around.”
Dirk puts his head down, clearly conflicted about his decision to insult his new partner, who is currently walking down I-30.
Dirk is fighting off two drug dealers in the middle of a food court at North Park Mall. He is clearly losing this fight. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?!
“Ah! You’ll never get away!” yells Dirk.
“Yes we will. Haha. And once we buy ALL the drugs, we’re going to sell the drugs and use the money to finally buy our own death-ray!” says a drug dealer.
“You’ll pay for this!” scream Dirk.
“Not before you… die!” says a clever drug dealer.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!” screams an awesome voice!
It’s Monta! He’s flying through the air and kicks the first drug dealer. The other drug dealer pulls out his knife.
Monta says calmly into the camera…
Monta kicks the knife out of the drug dealer’s hand and then kicks him in the face. He loves kicking. The drug dealers are motionless.
Dirk is lying on the ground, looks up, and see’s Monta with a hand outstretched to help him up.
“Thanks man. That was… really amazing.” says Dirk
“Nah man. Don’t mention it.” says Monta as he turns away.
“Hey! I’ve got to go find some other drug dealers who are planning on buying a missile with their drug money.” says Dirk. “I could use my… partner.”
Monta stops and turns around with a grin on his face.
“AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! YEEEEEAAAAHH!!!!!!” replies Monta.
Monta begins doing the Macarena while singing “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5.
Dirk laughs and shakes his head. Then he joins Monta and they dance and sing into the sunset.