The following is based on actual events
Father: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Honey, help me move this couch in front of the door!
Wife: I can’t believe he’s…
Wife: You said he was gone, damnit! You told me he left!
Father: I thought he did. I coulda sworn it. The media hasn’t talked about him in weeks. I thought maybe… just maybe he would drift away into irrelevance because we stopped talking about how good he is. What with KD and CP3……
Wife: Well he didn’t!
Father: I KNOW THAT, CAROL! I….. know.
Father: Oh God. Son, you close your eyes now.
Son: Is LeBron still dangerous?
Father: Yes, son. But daddy will protect you, ok.
Father: Carol… I have had enough! You saw all those writers talkin’ about other players! You did! Tell me you didn’t see them!
Wife: OH SHUT UP! Everyone knows LeBron is laying low until the playoffs, you jackass!
Father: I AM THE PROVIDER FOR THIS FAMILY!
(BANG BANG BANG)
Father: OH GOD. Son, come here. You be a brave boy, you hear?
Son: Is LeBron gonna let other people win?
Father: No son. I’m afraid… not.