Sources confirm that it is the trash can area where the most jaded reporters smoke menthols. The source noted that other nearby trash receptacles is where the more modern bloggers smoke e-cigarettes.
“Kids these days,” the source said.
Anyway, about the keys. They had a special keyring that said “The Heatles” on them with a special background mural image, similar to the album artwork of “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band” with the faces of Heat players crudely pasted on. It’s been confirmed that this was Pat Riley’s idea and it was also confirmed that the players kinda hated having such a large keyring in their pocket, but that they put up with it for the sake of the “team” or something. This, more than anything the source says, could’ve been the reason for LeBron James to have left his keys by the trash can.
“That really irked LeBron. He didn’t like the way Pat just tossed that thing around on the table and in meetings, like it was proving something. In fact, he had Maverick or Rich or one of his Akron boys carry his keys sometimes because of that damn keyring,” the source said.
And where were his Akron boys when LeBron dropped his keys? Many say they were taking a bath, at least that’s what the police were told.
But lo and behold, who showed up at the Heat gym? Only Heat superstar Chris Bosh! He found the keys on Monday after coming back from a safari in Africa.
“I’m not sure why LeBron left his keys there. Did something happen? Have you guys heard from him? I’ll try and get them back to him right away. He’ll need them,” Chris Bosh said.
Everyone was quiet. Chris Bosh was inspired to take out his own mural keyring and compare it to LeBron’s.
“One thing about the Beatles. They never broke up ya know? Always together, that was the Beatles.”
At this point, Chris Bosh entered the workout facility and sources say he felt like 118 million bucks.