Ballerball received what we believe to be a leaked letter from Brooklyn Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov and his GM Billy King. We can only assume this letter to be accurate until proven otherwise.
Hey There Mr. Billy King,
I called your houseboat Mr. GM man and NO ONE ANSWERED on Monday. Then I start asking around to my main dog Mr. Beyonce and he says that Monday was Laborious Day in America. I want to know why you aren’t work time Mr. Brooklyn Town Baskeball Men Manager? Where were you ding dong? If Monday was Laborious Day why weren’t you working in your office/house boat? I called and I called from my jetski phone but you never pick up. I call Mr. Beyonce and he was in the studio cutting hot hip hop tracks with Mr. Santa Beard Rick Rubuens. I don’t know what kind of person doesn’t work on Laborious Day? Isn’t this American holiday where everyone work super hard? In Russia we have similar holiday is called “EVERY DAY OF YEAR” this is why we are great and you are no good town.
But I digress Mr. King. I am supes bored owning basketball men of Brooklyn. When is basketball time again? It feels like nothing is happening. I turn on Nationals Basketball Channels and all I see is same Michael Jordan game from 20 years ago. When are new games gonna go play time? I turn on Entertainment Sports People Network and all I see is this Tom Teeballs who must be great football man but not as good as Jonny Footballs because his name has Footballs in it. Is this like people who have name Smith are blacksmith and people named Abramovich are no good owners of lousy blue english football devils? When do we get to watch the teams play basketball again? What am I paying for?
No big deal because I am richer than all your American Presidents combined but I still want to win. I look at team all day and think we are pretty good. I play the team on the NBA 2K14 (I get early copy because I have a cousin in Japan) and I keep having to restart season because of team getting injuries from being too old. I know this is just silly game but it makes me worried Mr. King. We are good team, yes? Josh Johnson is great hoops guy? He make it rain from deep? Do I say this, right? Rain from deep?
In Russia we have saying “Old Soldier is a Good Soldier” and hey buddy, no one is older than our soldiers, right Mr. King? Commanders Pierce and Kay Gee will crush Miami Hots beneath their basketball boots, yes? I see you get wise basketball wizard Jerry Stackhouse. This is good he is older than freshmen coach Jason Kidd. I like him. He seems tough and don’t take no stuff. He has seen many basketball game times and will be super tough guy.
Anyways. Just wanted to check in Mr. King bro. Looking forward to new game times. Looking forward to party town time with my boys at 40/40 club with Mr. Beyonce. We will be dunking on the heads like Mr. Shaq and his boys Fu-Schnickens. Can we schedule scrimmage games with them and the basketball men of Brooklyn? If we can beat Fu-Schnickens no one can stop us. Two tickets to party title town Mr. King.