Leaked Mikhail Prokhorov Letter to Billy King: October 22, 2013



Hey General King,


Hoo boy it’s been a little while since I hit you up my main man. How are the basketball men of brooklyn? Is brooklyn in the house, my man? Are we in the house? Who’s house? Mikhail’s house. Who’s house? Sing it with me General King. I said a who’s house? Mikhail’s house. You see how it goes. Is there any way we can get the Run DMC to be new mascots for team? Who better to represent aging superstar soldiers like Kay Gee and Comrade Pierce. So old yes. But so strong. Just like the Run DMC. I love real time show with Pope Run he is tough father but fair. I hope Jason Kidds can learn this lesson.


Man I have had a bad couple of weeks General King. First thing they shut down the silk road. Double-you tee eff? I was funding silk road because I had invested in bitcoins a while back. I figured bitcoins were better than american dollars lately (I will get back to this General King just hold the phone) am I right? Plus by using silk road I could buy pandas from china zoo. With enough bitcoins you can buy anything am I right? Remind accounting to give AK-47 his weekly bitcoins payment. I also bought him twitter stock under name Ivan Dragon (it’s a movie reference General King) and made him owner of 10% of twitter. Andrei will be rich man thanks to our secret contract. Also if man can’t play to ensure the safety of his family what can he play for? Jeeze louise my man. Jeeze louise.


And what is about this american yahoos that threaten your economy. What kind of party is tea party? I have been to all kinds of parties. Parties in Ibiza, parties in Hong Kong, parties in Antarctica with the Kanyes but I have never been to no tea party. After China guess who owns the most of America debt bills? Guess General King. Ring a ding ding my man. It’s me. If America can’t pay the bills what good are you? That Ted Cruz looks soft and weak. I would feed him to my pandas if I could. Since I bought American Brooklyn Nets its been tough to get someone killed. That Pedro Gomez is always following me like some sort of America spy. I see him. I see you Pedro Gomez. Behind me on jet ski in Lake Cuomo. In line at Imax to see “Wizard of Oz” you cannot hide.


Any whoos, how much longer till the season gets going? I want to see this expensive ancient machine of war we have built. I bet that dumb dumb Marc Cueballs from Dallas my albino panda for his actual shark tank (Marc Cueballs has sooooo many sharks way more than Tracy Morgan which is a lot) that we would win more than 60 games. Don’t let me down General King or I will build shark tank of my own and let you down, into it… with the sharks… that bit you… got it? Keep hippin and a hoppin. Keep on block rocking my man. Can we get Harry Belafonte to sing at halftime every game. Love that guy. Six foot seven foot eight foot BUNCH!


-Stay Fresh

Mikky P.


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