Kobe, It’s Cold Outside

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I really can’t stay.

But Kobe it’s cold outside.

I have to go away.

But Kobe it’s cold outside.

This season has been

Been hoping that we’d get more wins.

So [expletive] [expletive]

I’ll hold your rings if you’ll commit. 


I’m better than Stephen Curry.

Mamba what’s your hurry.

My teammates aren’t spacing the floor.

Listen to that stadium roar.

So really I’d better scurry.

Mamba what’s your hurry.

Well maybe just a half a game more.

Break some records now while I pour.


The bloggers might think…

But Kobe it’s bad out there.

LeBron is supreme.

No rings to be had out there.

I wish I knew how

I know that you’re missing Pau.

To make us gel.

I’ll sign T-Mac. Your game looks swell.


I ought to say no no no.

Mind if I move the roster.

At least I’ve got more rings than Shaq.

What’s the sense of hurting your back.

I really can’t stay.

Mamba don’t hold out.

Kobe it’s cold out side.


I simply must go.

But Kobe it’s cold outside.

The answer is no.

But Kobe it’s cold outside.

This season has been…

How lucky that we’ve got Lin.

So [expletive] and [expletive].

Look at the West it’s all amuck.


My haters will be suspicious.

Gosh your shot looks delicious.

My teammates aren’t running the floor.

We’ll give you all our cash and more.

My critics are getting vicious.

Gosh your shot looks delicious.

Well maybe give a half a mill. more.

Never such a legend before.


I got to get rings.

But Kobe you’ll lose out there.

Say lend me a trade.

You might hurt your knees out there.

My teammates are [expletive],

Have you seen this Boozer kid?

But don’t you see.

Phil Jackson has no [expletive] on me.


There’s bound to be talk tomorrow.

Think of that Lakerland sorrow

At least they won’t remember Kareem.

If you went to some other team.

I really can’t stay.

Get over that old doubt.

Kobe it’s cold outside.

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