Hey yo. First off, coach is making me work on my cursing ever since we visited that middle school and that punk-ass b— sorry….. little kid… looked at me funny. Anyways, my counselor says I gotta use these stars (****) when I curse. I ain’t happy about it.
This is the fourth email I’ve sent ya’ll. On top of that – I sent two texts,five hand written letters and a VINE with all ya’ll tagged in it. Still haven’t heard a dang thing. Ya’ll better start payin’ attention or I’m gonna start shimmying after every rebound. BET I WON’T.
The Winter Olymipcs are here and I could not be more excited. Check me out right now.
As ya’ll know the Winter Olympics is my favorite sh**. Like, that sh**IS my sh**. So to celebrate, I’m inviting everyone over to my place for an Opening Cermony Watchin’ Party. Be sure to check ya’lls emails for an Evite from ILikeTheWayYouPerkIt@hotmail.com and RSVP to the party.
There is one rule ya’ll must know before ya’ll think about headin’ over to Casa De Kendrick. You gotta dress up as your favorite Olympic athlete. I don’t wanna hear that chatter about you don’t wanna do it. I’m tryin’ to create an atmosphere up in my living room and anyone wearin’ blue jeans will be chillin’ in the garage with my weed whacker. Ain’t even playin’ about that.
If you’re lookin’ for a costume, I’m like 83% sure that Russ has whatever you need in his closet. That dude wears that ish on the daily.
Ya’ll just trust me on this. KG hosted one of these when I was in Boston and I seriously have never had so much fun in my life– plus we won a championship that year. I went as a member of the Jamaican bobsled team.
So that’s it. The party is BYOS – that’s BRING YOUR OWN SELF. That’s a joke. YA’LL BETTER BE LAUGHIN’.
Remember to keep Fish out of the loop on this. That dude can’t keep his liquor down for sh** and after that mess that occurred at Thabo’s house a couple weeks ago, I ain’t havin’ it. Got too many things for that dumba** to screw up. If any of ya’ll invite him, I’m gonna ask that we do sleeved jerseys every night. BET I WON’T.
Alright, that’s all I got. Don’t forget to RSVP, unless you like getting’ you like getting your a** kicked.