Joakim Noah Is A Liar

mikedunleavy

Mike Dunleavy Jr. tried to take a charge last night. He bled and bled and bled and wound up needing 10 stitches. Dunleavy, monster he is, went back in the game in the second half. He played well, too. Even took another charge. In an interview after the game, Joakim Noah — one assist shy of a triple double last night — said that Dunleavy had helped Duke’s street cred.

Frankly, that’s ridiculous. I love Joakim and I love his game, but he’s wrong. He’s a liar. Duke’s done been hard. They need no help with their street cred. They’re the ink on Pac’s stomach. They’re a Carhart jacket. They’re the first 30 seconds of “Ante Up”.

I mean, you don’t just go spend 1-4 years around the crazies that inhabit Cameron and come away like cotton candy. You come out of that school like concrete. There are no frills to you. You are hard like driving in New York City. May as well be called the Duke Charles Oakleys.

Again, Joakim’s been playing unbelievable ball lately, but he’s just wrong. There’s no way you can say that Duke has no street cred. Joakim Noah is just a liar. Duke is hard as f….

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Hey, hold on a minute here. I’m trying to write something. Just gimme two seconds.

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Geez. Yo, chill out for a sec. Alright? For real.

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Dude. Be gone! This is my piece! Please quit doing what you’re doing!!!!

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Ummmm, yea. Listen, my dude, gonna need you to….

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Dude!!! Cool out!!! Cool out! Stay outta my work!!!!

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Man, what’s your point?!! What about Dunleavy?! That dude is raw!!!! He runs with a rough crowd!! He’s like the second coming of….

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Mike, COME ON, DUDE!!! BUT THAT’S FINE. THAT’S FINE. BECAUSE I GOT THE ULTIMATE AND BLUEST DEVIL ALIVE, YOUNG K. THE COACH!!!!!! UNLEASH HELL ON EM, COOOAAAAACH!!!!!!

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……….      ……….   But …….. I mean …….. This is just …… Like ……

Man, what kind of weird smile is that? I hate this. I’m going to Chili’s.

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