The season, nearly half over, is just beginning to heat up; like a man eating something while it’s still in the oven. And with 6 contenders in the West within 4 games of first place and like basically every team in the East within a few games of being lazily discussed, as if adequate, there are a lot of teams out there looking for that additional edge.
And so, the season of D-league call ups is upon us.
Now that spectating the D-league is something of a cottage industry, I imagine the name Cthulu Hemingway is as familiar to many of you as Joe Alexander, or Brady Heslip. Hemingway, like a lot of these guys, is an extraordinary risk-reward proposition, with well-defined strengths and weaknesses. Let’s go through them, shall we?
- Strong locker room presence. Speaks rarely, but powerfully.
- Very manly
- One of the Great Old Ones
- A being of great power, and dark majesty
- Good three-point shooter
- Poor court awareness
- Horrible, squid-like creature
- Easily distracted by newspaper deadlines, war with Elder Things, rivalry with Hastur the Unspeakable
- Name hard to pronounce
At any rate, it’s clear that whatever team calls up Hemingway will have its hands full turning him into a player and making him see basketball as a phenomenon more ephemeral than the smallest second of galactic time…
…but we wish him and the team which takes him on good luck.