Michael Jordan’s Highland Park home has failed to sell at auction. We here at Ballerball have dabbled a bit in house flipping so we would love to offer MJ some tips for getting his house to sell.
1. Leroy Smith, butler. In high school, Leroy Smith beat Jordan out for the last Varsity spot. He means so much to Jordan that Jordan flew him to his hall of fame speech so Jordan could remind him and the world that Jordan was better at basketball. Jordan needs to throw him in as the butler to the house.
2. A Zoo full of Bobcats. Don’t worry these aren’t dangerous fierce Bobcats. These are mediocre, been around of 9 years and have something called “2004-2010: The Gerald Wallace Era” on their wikipedia page kind of Bobcats.
3. All the Hanes Comfortblend Tagless Shirts you can eat!
4. Make each room a theme. There can be a North Carolina Theme, a room for each Bulls Championship, and the bathroom can be Wizards’ theme.
Oh and just make the house a Casino…I assume it already is but just make it a Casino.