Excuse My Rebuttal: Can Tim Tebow Help Save the Rockets / Kiss My Wife?

Tim Tebow ponders a question during an interview on the set of ESPN's new SEC Network in Charlotte, N.C., Wednesday, Aug. 6, 2014. Tebow has a new job as a commentator for the SEC Network, but is still looking for work in the NFL as a quarterback. (AP Photo/Chuck Burton)

Lear’s Macaw can only be spotted by the most the experienced bird watchers in the interior northeast of Brazil. The blind eye, alone, is not enough to spot one of these neotropical parrots. One requires such tools as binoculars, spotting scopes, tripods and, most importantly, the art of hearing. Even the best bird watchers in the world cannot experience Lear’s Macaw with only one of these objects. All is required, and even then, there’s no guarantee that you will spot the beautiful blue winged beast.

You know what I don’t need binoculars, spotting scopes, tripods and the art of hearing for…?

Spotting the IT FACTOR.

Something that’s clearly missing from the Houston Rockets organization. I’ve seen enough basketball in my life to know who has IT and who doesn’t. To start the season, the Rockets have become the first team in NBA HISTORY to lose 3 consecutive games by 20 or more points. That doesn’t sound like a team that has IT to me. Let’s see who the Rockets have lost to this year…

The Miami Heat?

The Golden State Warriors??

THE DENVER NUGGETS???

EMR 1

People will say that the Rockets have James Harden and he’s an MVP caliber player – as in Most VULNERABLE Player! You know who DOES have that special sauce? And showed he has it DEEP IN THE PLAYOFFS on January 8, 2012 when he led the Denver Broncos to a playoff victory over YOUR Pittsburgh Steelers…?

TIM TEBOW.

The Houston Rockets would be FOOLISH not to pick up Tim Tebow right now. He’s a tough competitor who only needs one shot to show the world he can still win in this league. James Harden can get you your stats but can he win? NOT IN MY BOOK. Here’s a stat for you: Tim Tebow wins football games. I promise you this, what Tim Tebow lacks in basketball talent he WILL make up for in heart, hustle, bustle, instinct and IT.

July 28, 2012; Cortland, NY, USA; New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow (15) leaves the field following training camp at SUNY Cortland. Mandatory Credit: Rich Barnes-US PRESSWIRE

That’s stating the obvious though.

The real debate here is whether or not I’d let Tim Tebow kiss my wife square on the mouth.

THIS IS A NO-BRAINER.

Of course, I’d let my Tim Tebow kiss my wife! What more do I need to know? Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know FOOTBALL or ROMANCE. If Tim Tebow can take a team DEEP IN THE PLAYOFFS like he did on January 8, 2012 when he led the Denver Broncos to a playoff victory over YOUR Pittsburgh Steelers… then absolutely I’d let him french kiss the mother of my children at a time and location of his choosing.

WIFE KISS

In closing. Tim Tebow makes football plays. Tim Tebow to the Rockets. Tim Tebow can kiss my wife square on the mouth for at least 5 seconds.

(Keep following ESPN’s Ballerball.com for more “Excuse My Rebuttal” and more hard-hitting sports journalism. Also, Tim… DM me. 

Be first to comment