News leaked late Thursday evening that the Miami Heat guard Norris Cole signed a deal with Touchstone Pictures to star in the upcoming sequel to the ghost-buddy basketball comedy The 6th Man, originally starring Marlon Wayans.
Amid reports that superstar teammate LeBron James was the potential subject of a Space Jam sequel, Cole began an aggressive campaign to secure his own sequel.
When reached for comment, Cole responded, “It’s like LeBron this, LeBron that. LeBron, LeBron, LeBron. Beats by Dre, NIKE, Samsung Galaxy. LeBron for MVP. LeBron the GOAT. LeBron on Mount Rushmore. What about Norris Cole, man? What about Norris Cole?”
What about Norris Cole, we wondered.
“Have you seen Norris Cole, man? Looks at Norris Cole’s hair. Look at Norris Cole’s dribbling. Look at Norris Cole making jumpers. When’s the world gonna ask, ‘What can Norris Cole not do?'”
Well, Norris, what can’t you do?
“Juggle glasses. Tennis balls, I can handle. But hand me something breakable and it’s game over,” he said chuckling.
Norris Cole apparently thinks his only limitations are juggling related.
“Just listen to the name Norris Cole. It’s like fashion. It’s like sex. Say it with me, Nor-riss Co-luh. Smooth, right? So smooth. Just like Norris Cole. Norris Cole is Norris Cole. And now, Norris Cole is the 6th Man 2.”
Well, alright then, Norris Cole.