Delusional Pacers Fan is Ecstatic “His” Team is Destroying the Rockets

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Pacers fan and Indianapolis resident Colin Stepnansky can’t believe how well his team is playing against the Rockets.

“They won in overtime and now our star forward killed Dwight Howard,” Colin said.

When told by a reporter that those were actually the Portland Trailblazers and not the Indiana Pacers, and that the Pacers had lost to an Atlanta Hawks team that didn’t feature its best player, Colin quickly interrupted.

“What are you trying to say? I’ve been a Pazers fan my whole life!”

While it was agreed that both of the team nicknames end in with an “ers”, Colin didn’t take kindly to the news that those were still two separate teams.

“We’ve fought adversity all year. No one has believed in us, even though we’ve had great inside play. Now, it’s just like the beginning of the season when we were leading the We..east, the Weast.”

It was pointed out by the reporter that the Pacers haven’t played that well since the All-Star break and actually fought against themselves before the playoffs. All of this while the Blazers have had a tougher schedule in the West.

Colin demurred on these points.

“You just don’t want anything good for us. We’re just a mid-tier city going against the biases of bigger cities like Houston and Atlanta,” he said.

However, Colin showed a moment of clarity once it was brought to his attention that the Pacers are actually going against the Atlanta Hawks in Atlanta, where they haven’t done so well this season.

“We’ll be fine,” Colin said. “I see Terry Motts down at the Elk Lodge, he’s a good guy. We’ll definitely win at least another series or two.”

At this point, Colin was corrected and told that the Blazers coach was actually named Terry Stotts and his coach was named Frank Vogel.

Colin didn’t seem to have a problem with this.

“Frank Ogle’s a good guy, too. He’s my bro on 2-for-1 wing nights.”

The reporter, at his wit’s end, wanted to pull a Lance Stephenson on Colin’s Evan Turner. But the reporter refrained and decided on a different tact.

“There’s a popular, funny show set in Portland,” the reporter said. “It’s called Portlandia. Maybe you’ve heard of it? That’s where the Blazers are from.”

“Oh yes, I’ve heard of Indiana. The season set on the farm looks exactly like the idyllic countryside.” Colin flipped on his TV to reveal the opening credits of The Walking Dead.

The reporter thought long and hard before deciding not to tell Colin that the show is actually set in Atlanta. And that things don’t end well.

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