Carmelo Needs To Rebrand

This New York stuff didn’t quite work out the way everyone hoped. Carmelo still lacks a championship, Lala is not a super-duper movie star and Amare’s knees are still broken or something.What Carmelo needs is not only a fresh start, but a fresh nickname.Here are some suggestions.

milo and otis
Carmelo needs a softer look. A more kinder, gentler personality to let everyone know that he’s a team player, and cuddly too. And this would just take a slight tweak to his name. It should be Milo. It’s from an old, classic kid’s movie about a soft and cuddly cat, Milo, and his unlikely pal, the dog Otis. Plus, think of the revenue sales from plush toy tabby cats with Carmelo’s face on them.Can you say gold mine? Or maybe Milo Mine?

Mello Yello

mello yello
Call him Mello Yello.This is smooth and bright, yet gives a shock to the system. Carmelo can be an intense energy guy, not the demanding chucker. Did he watch the ‘Bad Boys’ doc? Look at Dennis Rodman flying everywhere. Combine that with Carmelo’s scoring intensity and this is a whole new level of refreshment for a willing team.


Yeah, as in Anthony Bourdain, the famous globe-trotting chef. Carmelo just watched the Spurs trounce the Heat. Melo needs to show he’s not only eaten his humble pie, he’ll take a serving of creme brulee. A little international flair. Some exotic spiciness. Take a recipe out of Tony Parker and Boris Diaw’s kitchen, Melo. You’ll now be the ultimate team player, a passer when needed, a scorer when called upon. Tell your new team you want to be a mid-career Tim Duncan. The ultimate winner who respects everyone.
Saint Anthony
melo 2
Carmelo’s next move? A reclamation project. Saint Anthony is the patron saint of finding things and lost people. Do you really want to stay with Knicks? How about playing for $3 million a year? That’ll open up the cap space. Or go to the Lakers and call all of the free agent people to you. I don’t know, though, the Lakers and Knicks are still for the RICH AND FAMOUS, not a Franciscan priest. No, this needs to be your mission project. How about the Hawks or the Jazz or the Kings? There you go. Carmelo should totally remake his career image. Resurrect a franchise, not for him, but for the people. A total servant, that’s Saint Anthony.

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