Breaking News coming out of Phoenix where sources are telling Ballerball that the Suns have hired Hal Fisher as their Head of Mezzanine Security. (Upper 300 section)
This comes 6 days after the unexpected firing of their old Head of Mezzanine Security, Ricky Suarez. Suarez is believed to have been let go for helping facilitate a crowd wave – using only middle fingers.
Suarez seen below:
Hal Fisher has an impressive resume where he began his career working parking lot security in Atlanta. He was later hired as an Assistant Platinum Level guard for the Jazz. Finally Fisher was picked up by Dallas as their Head of Mezzanine Security.
Phoenix has been eying Fisher for some time now. He has been admired for many years for his no-nonsense work ethic. Fisher is best known for the legendary night when he escorted 18 “punk-ass teenagers” out of The American Airlines Arena in one night. Just 9 months later, Fisher let go in Dallas for allegedly breaking protocol by confiscating cell phones from what he called “whining teeny bopping know-it-alls”.
Hank Fisher came as a surprise to most. Many believed the Suns would reach out to the great Richard Tank, who went into retirement 4 years ago. It was also rumored that Goran Dragic was strongly pushing for the longtime Phoenix Mezzanine Security officer, Clay Timothy. However, for what Phoenix was needing, which was a fast paced security program – it appears Fisher is the best fit.
Phoenix has yet to confirm the rumor. They are well-known for keeping things close to the chest on internal matters like these. In fact, when pressed by Ballerball the Suns front office responded “We have no idea what you’re talking about” and “What is Ballerball?”
Many question Fisher’s ability to turn the 300 Section of the US Airways Arena around, but we here at Ballerball believe that his ability to buckle down on little “douche-bag tweens” will come as a great asset to the Phoenix Suns.
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Also – None of this is real.