Ballerball’s #NBARank Machine

NBA Player Rank Long Cover


If you’re anything like me (and the rest of America) you let that ESPN #NBARank send you in a tizzy over their ranking of Kobe Bryant as the 25th best player in the world.  It’s an outrage!

As I was punching any brick wall I could find, I got to thinking.  This thinking caused me to take matters into my own hands by creating the #NBARank Machine, where you can propose your own #NBARank that is suitable for you.  Let’s take a peek at how it works.


Step 1

Select the ‘Click to Begin’ button.

NBA Player Rank Machine


Step 2

Look at the list of players below.  Really examine their faces and think about how these basketball players make you feel.  Apply that to your own judgement, as to where they should be properly ranked as NBA professionals.

NBA Player Rank Machine Part 1


Step 3

Select a player that you’d like to make a decision about #NBAranking.

NBA Player Rank Machine Part 2


Step 4

Move the selected player to the list on the right-hand side of your screen.   Place the player in the location you think he should be #NBARanked.  Cherish that , “Hey. This is kinda fun.”  feeling that’s rushing into your body.

NBA Player Rank Machine Part 3


Step 5

Move the rest of the players to their respective positions, according to you.  Again, don’t forget to enjoy this.  Remember, these are your thoughts and you are physically seeing them right in front of your face.  It feels good.

NBA Player Rank Machine Part 4


Step 6:

Select ‘File’ and ‘Print’ so you can examine the hard copy of your list (via the #NBARank Machine).

NBA Player Rank Machine File Print


Step 7:

Call a friend to come look over your very own #NBARank Machine list.  Talk about how your list is better than any other list you’ve ever seen.  Have fun disagreements.  Remember to not let her thoughts change your thoughts.

NBA Player Rank 5


Step 8

Immediately, find the closest mirror and look at yourself.  Remind yourself that you know what you think.  Remind yourself of the time that you saw and LOVED the movie “V for Vendetta” even though the top critics on Rotten Tomatoes didn’t really like it.  Think what you think and know that it’s all going to be OK.  Say that out loud 100 times as you stare into your own eyes.

“Think what you think and know that it’s all going to be OK.”


NBA Player Rank 6


Step 9

Throw the hard copy away in the garbage can.

NBA Player Rank 7


Step 10

Live life, knowing that other people’s rankings of players don’t matter to you or to the players being ranked.  Hug your loved ones.  Soar like an eagle.  Watch your favorite players play basketball.  Live life.

NBA Player Rank 8





NBA Player Rank Machine END

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