An Intoxicated Stereotypical Southern Man Discusses The National Basketball Association
…On the Lakers coaching changes
As dictated to Ballerball:
“Ey. Ey. Lemme tell you sumfin. Dem Lakers. Gotta say. Don’t like ‘at hire. I’m sayin. Ya give Phil what he wants. Just my opinion. I ain’t more than a bum from Shreveport. Never played ball. Seen the Hornets live an’ in color a few times. Suppose ‘ats my resume, as it were.
Butchew got the Thrill, man. Phil the Thrill. Feller got 11 rings, you say dun deal to ‘at. Gitcha ‘at Triangle an’ all the rest of it. Whatever he wonts. He could wont Buss’ daughter to walk ’round stark naked through Staples on game day, no problem far’s I’m concerned.
Feel bad for ole Brown, though. Fella cain’t get it right. Got LeBron up er in Cleveland an’ then Kobe and em big boys. That Spain feller an’ big Bynum las’ year. Seems ‘at short season and them injuries just bit him. Fault a guy for all ‘at, ain’t quite right it seems. Course, probably weren’t ever the right feller for at squad in the first place. Is what it is and is what it ain’t I s’pose.
So they got that Suns guy, huh? Well, yea, he was wit the Knicks or wherever it was. Melo gettin fired up cuz ole boy was asking him to play D and all that. He’ll be ‘at Suns guy to me till I pass on, though, I reckon. Be nuts if him ‘n Nash could do ‘at same dance they was doing in ’05 and ’06. Nash hurt, though, ain’t he? He out for what? While, huh? Heck. Fibula or sumfin done got a fracture. Had me one of them from working the pipes too hard once. Can’t rush a fib back. You got Kobe, though. Mamba. Dat black mamba.
Puttin in work. He doin alright. Postin up on em smaller fellas more. Put Nash and Howard in that P n’ R, though, have em boys runnin, Spain doing what Spain does, they gon be alright.
Tell ya once more, though. I know I’m beatin a dead horse, but cain’t help feelin for Browny. Guy couldn’t catch one. Break, that is. Cain’t do nothing right in the eyes ‘a dem folks from Los Anguleees, ‘less ‘a course your name’s Phil or Pat or whatever it is. Guess ‘at Mamba likes the Suns fella or whatever. Heard ‘at un a time or two. Believe ‘at un when I see it. Be fun, though. Excitin’ out der again. My TV be flicked over to it. Showtime agin, as my pa woulda surely said. Breathe some life into Jack now. Ole Jacky over ‘er. No playoffs make Jacky a dull boy. Hahaha. Ehhh. Surely enough. Showtime agin.”