JaVale McGee and Firehouse Mustache Wax go together like Gordon Bombay and The Mighty Ducks.
The mustache sings and it echoes throughout the Rockies and trains come forth from out of nowhere and all the thirst is quenched and all the mountains are blue because of a dunk and a finger and a celebration that God himself called into being.
Some will say it started with a tattoo and those people ought find a ledge to jump off. If they can’t find a ledge, at the very least they should find a super tall person that can lift them high up over their heads and then throw them down. Or if they live near a bridge you can always Jack-Black-in-Anchorman-post-
You see, it started in the mind. That manic matrix that resides within the head of JaVale McGee. It started with a single thought.
I need a mustache.
That mustache should not be where other mustaches are. It shouldn’t even be a real mustache at all.
It should be a tattoo of a mustache. And it should not be on my upper lip. It should be on the outside of my pointer finger.
Angels rejoice and Heaven shakes and Beyonce dances and there are so many beautiful single ladies for all the single men and you can still find Dunkaroos in most major grocery stores. True genius springs forth.
So, Firehouse Mustache Wax, give this guy some money so he can sell your product to the masses. JaVale has a personality the size the Death Star and all it takes is a little know how on your part and you could be floating in a lazy river of dolla dolla bills.
JaVale and the young trendies of Denver and beyond will have a marriage made in Heaven. Well, at the very least it’ll be a marriage made in a super independent coffee shop. Intelligentsia or something. I don’t know. I drink orange juice.
I’m saying though, the mustache is a thing that is more and more a part of life for people young and old. It is a bridge. A bridge that stretches from one generation to another. Bridge To Mustachia. And, with the younger generation especially, people are starting to curl it up at the ends all Monopoly Man style. YOU NEED WAX TO BE ABLE TO REALLY DO THAT.
Let JaVale sell your stache wax. Let him be the face of a generation. Let him be a voice and let his finger do all the talking.
Picture above is from @BigDaddyWookie (really the best Twitter handle ever) and shouts out to the TBJ guys that put it up on their site awhile ago.