30 Minutes Before a Photo: Kobe and his Jordan Gear

kobe cover

Welcome to a new segment at Ballerball, called “30 Minutes Before a Photo”, where we examine the happenings of a particular picture, 30 minutes before the picture took place.  We want to thank Synergy for helping us with this.  There is nothing they can’t do. 

Kobe 1

 

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Mom.

(waits…)

 

Maaaa!

Where is my white Michaal Jordan short sleeves button up that I like to wear over my white Michael Jordan jersey?

I can’t find it.

I AM looking!  I still can’t find it.  What the hell?  I always put it RIGHT here…  in my short sleeves button up drawer.

What the crap!  Where is it?  I’ve gotta be at Staples in like 20 effing minutes and I need it.  Shaq is gonna be there and I know he just bought a yellow Kareem short sleeved button up to go over his yellow Kareem jersey and I can’t just walk in with my white MJ jersey and not have a white MJ short sleeve button up over it!

Because!!!!

Wait a minute, you just gave some clothes away to the Salvation Army, didn’t you!?  Oh, mom!  Gosh doggit!  You gave it away!   Why did you do that??

No… IT’S NOT JUST A PIECE OF CLOTHING, MAAA!  It’s the better half of my jersey/short sleeves button up combo.  You can’t just wear one of those without the other!

Because… I just can’t!!!!

It’s like taking the parents away from an infant!  It doesn’t work!

That’s not stupid… you’re stupid!

Look, button line is, I’m never going outside again unless I have my white Michael Jordan short sleeved button up on top of my white Michael Jordan jersey.  I refuse to look like an idiot.

Nope.  I’m not moving from my bed.  I’m not a child.  I’m a mature adult who is peacefully protesting this act of treason unto me.  And don’t feed me either.  If I die… I die.

Where are you going?  Ma!  Maaaa!

Fine… leave.  I don’t need you.  I don’t need anything.  I especially don’t need Shaq and his stupid Kareem button up.

(waits…)

Oh look who’s back and…. wait, that’s  my white Jordan short sleeves button up.  Where did you get that?!

You were playing a joke on me??  It doesn’t matter!  It doesn’t even matter!! I’m so happy!  Gah, Shaq is going to be piiiiissed at how good I look.

(gleeful prancing ensues for 35 seconds)

….

 

Wait… mom.  Where are my cigars I like to smoke when I wear my glasses?

 

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Thanks to (r/NBA) for reminding me this photo exists

 

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