2014 NBA Finals: Game One – Instant Analysis From Kanye West

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Once again, Kanye West asked that we give him a space on our site to talk about the NBA.  Naturally we granted his request. Below are his words.

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Velvet possessions. My thoughts are amazing.

HAVE YOU EVER CRAMPED IN A TOMB FULL OF GOLD?  Hell no, you haven’t. That’s why my genius on THIS GAME matters, right.  I MATTER.  Like the Mona Lisa – I MATTER. Like the resurrection – I MATTER. Like these boots made of silver moon rocks – I MATTER.

LeBron James matters. Does he not? Like, what happens when a man’s matter is questioned on your media that’s social, right?  Even if its a NOBODY and not a SOMEBODY… we still treat it like  a SOMETHING and not a NOTHING.  WHO WROTE THE RULES ON THAT?  Mortals did.

GHOST MUSIC// CUT CUT // SWIM

I found God.  Huh? I SAID, I FOUND GOD.  I heard a voice comin’ from the back, right. I followed it until I saw my face in a mirror.  Angels sang my theme song.  I TOLD ME THAT GODS CRAMP. My soul cramps. 808s was all cramp. I GOT TWO TREE FROGS ON MY CHEST RIGHT NOW AND BOTH OF THESE MOTHERF***ERS ARE CRAMPIN  —- SO YOU’RE TELLIN’ ME A KING CAN’T CRAMP? OK OK OK.  YOU’RE TELLIN’ ME A GOD CAN’T CRAMP?  WHY ARE TREE FROGS ON MY CHEST THEN?  Count to ten.

LIGHTS ///// FLOW /// STIGMATA / PUPPIES

We emit hate like carbon dioxide. Like, It’s out there but we don’t need to see it unless we study it. Right. Why are we studying this shit that doesn’t matter? YOU’RE SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER, JEFF. And let me tell you something that needs to be said from the lips of a holy one.  JEFF FOXWORTHY IS A KING and that gets no attention… yet we pay attention to hate?  Explain that.

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HOLD ON A SEC WHILE I SPIT IT ON DANNY GREEN

AH! GIVE ME HEAVEN OR HELL

GIVE ME I’LL NEVER TELL

SKIN TO SIN TO CLOUDS IN THE DIRT

gods  ARE CURSED – DANNY GREEN 

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All of the sudden I can’t comment on this game though, right?  GENIUS DOESN’T GET A VOICE, RIGHT?  What if I spell ANALY$I$ with dollar signs?  Does that make me crazy or a genius???   DOES THIS –^_6969_^– .MAKE ME CRAZY? OR DOES IT MAKE ME THE STEP-SON OF GOD?  THINK – DUMMY!

Pull up Kawhi’s shot chart like it matters…

Kawhi Shot Chart

Stat nerds – aka  haters – aka the devil – aka I’M A DEVIL — they want to look at that shot chart and think it’s important.  Hold up while I find my own Kawhi Leondard shot chart.  FOUND IT…….

Kawhi egypt

Exactly, right?  PLUS / MINUS IS A SINUS, LINUS — AND SINUS IS NOTHIN’ BUT SIN – IN- US.  Like…. OH NOW the good girls come out to play but when a King gets a cramp, we point and laugh. My genius is potent so CATCH UP.

TREE//**//FROGS

In conclusion, What is A.C. and who holds the key to my moon rock boots?

That’s my analysis.

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